I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize