Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
