Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
