Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
