I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize