she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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