She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
