grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
