um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
