8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
