and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
