if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Randomize
