Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
