Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
