My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fuck appropriateness.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
