he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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