Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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