OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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