You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
