What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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