Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize