She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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