Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize