I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
