I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
