so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry about my life...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
