before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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