Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Two words: blizzard sex
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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