...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
