? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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