she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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