my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
