I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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