Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
