Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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