at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm getting married
To pizza
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i think i just lost a toe
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
