Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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