I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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