you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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