Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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