wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
