He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
