as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
