I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
