That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
