can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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