He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
