like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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