she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
