All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
