Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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