I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize