Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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