I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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