why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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