We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
