I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
