The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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