I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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