i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
