Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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