Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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