Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How does it feel to date your dad?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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