You don't have asthma, your pregnant
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
