She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
