u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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