I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
