Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
