Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
