how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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